How I Feel About Leaving the United States

I guess posts like these are always difficult, because to be completely honest, I don’t really know how I feel. I’m heading to London to study law this September. I know I’m excited for my new adventure… but I also know I’m going to miss some things from home. This move acts as my “leaving the nest” transition. Yes, during my college years I lived away from home. Under the comfort of paid accommodation, food, supplies, and the like, I do not think this counts. This move from home is the real deal, as I have no intention of moving back home. At the age of 23, it’s about time, but also it’s difficult to process that I’m not just leaving my family. I finally feel comfortable in a country and here I go, leaving.

When I moved to the United States, it was clear that I didn’t belong. I had weird style, weird phrases, and a weird accent. Making friends proved to be difficult and of course teasing was a natural consequence. Nobody really wanted to hear about where I had been or where I wanted to go. Living in the US, I’m in a box. A box labeled: I want to live here. I remember crying my eyes out when I left Australia. I vowed, at the sweet age of twelve, that I would become an Australian citizen and live there for the rest of my life. Things have definitely changed since then, but my desire to keep moving has not. I’ve always been moving, and now I rely on that. I need the change because that’s all I’ve really known.

Saying goodbye has never really been my thing. I usually avoid it, or just say see you soon. It’s not like I’m moving to the middle of nowhere and will have zero contact with anyone ever. Nonetheless, I think I need to process what’s happening because yes, I will still be in contact with people from home… just not in the same way or in the capacity or in the same context. Why do people lose touch? It’s because that person is all of a sudden irrelevant in your current world. So, knowing that, I’m excited to do my best to update my friends and family and visit them as often as my budget allows. At this time I do not know if I will be back for Christmas, but I know I’ll be back to the United States sooner than I probably think.

I’m leaving the United States at a particularly strange time. I’m leaving the presidential race, shootings, Black Lives Matter, policing, and many other things. I, like many Americans, get angry about it all too. In some ways I’m sad I won’t be around to impact my community as much as I would otherwise, but in other ways I’m tired of what I’m seeing. And of course, I’m about to plunge into a whole other world of complicated politics. In the wake of Brexit, who knows what London will have in store for me and Victor.

So what am I going to miss? Well, quite a lot of things of course. I’m going to miss delicious Tex-Mex and Mexican food. I will miss my friends, my family, and my budgies. Even though I’m not a shopper, I’m going to miss all the sales here, and all the superstores that have everything I could possibly need (and every brand too). I’m going to miss all the wineries and breweries I have around me, and I’m going to miss my car. I’m going to miss the holidays here, which are so ginormous but amazing. But, none of the things are absolutely essential (maybe Tex-Mex), and I’m more than excited to replace all those things with other aspects that London can provide me.